This picture of me is from my rock band I am in called In From Zero . I guess you can say I am a jack of all trades . I am a mom , a clothing designer , Im crafty and Im a wife . Yesterday I realized alot of things . Some things just never change in the people that you love and try to help in the right direction . They ended up being people that don't understand why you don't understand them . I guess Im making ya all a little lost in my thought here... well let me explain .
My husband David , has a brother named Mike . Anyway to make a long story short , my brother n law had a wife and a son , lost them to his heroin addiction , we put the wife and him in rehab, sent the wife to live with her mom and became guardians to their son , who is now living with us today .
When I say this life has been a journey , I really mean it has ! I do not kid you one bit . My nephew is now 17 and is a senior in high school , he has plans to go to Cal-Poly Pomona where he will major in computer science . My daughter is in school with him and is the same age and grade in high school as he , but she plans to attend Cal-Arts and major in film . I say to myself I have one more year and the troubles I have been enduring with the parents of my nephew will be HIS problems . You see my brother n law is obsessed with his wife . She wants nothing to do with him, but when he offers a good time , she'll take off with him for some fun , she uses and abuses my brother n law . He wants to control his situation with her ,that he then starts to herass us for his son , just to get her to play house for one moment and because we know this is all not good for their son we say no , and all the threats kick in .This has been going on since we have taken guardianship over the boy when he was 14.
I find that my husband and daughter and I are warriors , I guess thats why this picture is pretty important and sentimental . Everyday that goes I dont know how the day is gonna go or end at the end of the day because these people love drama and the next thing I know we are in it . Its kinda sad because , we have three hide outs that we take off to so that they can't find us . Luckily my father n mother n law have a place in palm springs and everytime we know that my sister n law is coming to town and my brother n law finds out , we just escape to that place and shut all our phones down . Sad but true . Now , Im not lookin' for a poor me and frankly , I dont even know if anyone is even reading this , I guess thats why I write it because it is my journal and if anyone is listening great! I hope I dont scare you , but Its really an understanding for myself . My poor husband David . The guy I met when I was 20 is really not the same guy anymore , he's gotten a bit cold and angry and he always loved his brother and cared so much for him but these days is really starting to hate him for all the stuff he's done to hurt this family . My mother n law is so physcho because of brother Mike and always puts it on poor Dave . All I can do is be here for him and for the other two , my daughter and nephew .
So today... actually I look forward to today , Im cleaning my house preparing for some company to come over today , its an old friend of Daves named Allen . He's a guy that Dave has known since they were 15 years old! and he found Dave after all these years . I think this is what Dave needs . He needs an old friend to play music with so he can feel alive again . Isn't that what lifes about? ...Feelin' and believin' in your dreams and looking forward to the future because it is sooo brite and beautiful? Im soo tired of thinking about these people that don't deserve my families love or time , they take it all for granted and basically are selfish bastards really . I think my family and I want to look ahead and continue this journey on a different note... without those who need to move on an figure theire shit out themselves! Amen to that! Thanks for those of you who read this stuff , not always is it gonna be as heavy as this , their are fun and crazy times too! So stay tuned! : P
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